I wanna passion pit in your ass
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
