i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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