my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm sobbing to NWA
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
