walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Randomize
