My room smells like vodka and shame
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
