I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
