it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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