i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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