Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
