At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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