why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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