I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Is it because I queefed?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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