Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
