he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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