Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
