So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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