if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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