i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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