Just cropdusted the office
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
How drunk are you?
Completed.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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