I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
