BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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