Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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