Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
