that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
