Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
i think my cat just said my name.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
