I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
