a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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