we're blogging at a bar
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
