I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
