and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
