chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
