some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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