I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
