2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
