ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
