JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
