Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize