onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
