ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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