there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize