No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
