yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
