Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
