you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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