how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
