im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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