i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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