i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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