dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
