I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
