I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
