Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
