I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize