I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
