look no pants
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize