Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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