i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
