carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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