Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
