she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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